Alien+Porn

Any type of football played by sides with whom you have no rooting interest and brings you no joy whatsoever.

Also comparable to two beautiful animals (e.g., lions, tigers, Na'vi from Avatar), having coital relations.

Or simply watching the Spanish national team play football.

First mentioned by Davo on the 5/31/2013 pod at 22:10 when discussing the all-German Champions League final between Dortmund v Bayern.